


Who Wants to Live Forever

by MaroonCamaro



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, Kissing, M/M, Sad Daryl Dixon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 04:58:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17502032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaroonCamaro/pseuds/MaroonCamaro
Summary: Daryl would look for Rick forever.May contain spoilers for season 9 if you have been off the grid for the last 6 months or so.





	Who Wants to Live Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the RWG challenge, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all".
> 
> Title is from the amazing Queen, written originally for The Highlander.
> 
> This fic has been "looked at" but not beta'd. So any mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Thanks to my buddies at the RWG who read this and approved. TWDObsessive, 1Lostone, LOTR58, JeromeSankara, and I think Bennyhatter. You guys rock.

There was snow on the ground. That was good and bad. Good because Daryl could keep track of the walkers around his camp, bad because it meant the nights were cold again. 

It was his third winter outside. Looking. It didn’t matter though. He’d look forever. Everyone else gave up. Even Michonne. But Daryl wouldn’t. Couldn’t.

It was true that Rick wasn’t really his. Not any longer. There was time though, a beautiful summer when they were together. Back at the prison after Lori died, before that fucker the governor became a problem. Before Michonne.

The light was fading, he was loath to start a fire, but it would be too cold tonight to do without it. He’d shelter it as best he could so the glow wouldn’t attract any stray dead. There were strings and traps all around his camp, but there were many a night he’d woken to one shuffling around the fire.

Daryl let his mind wander back to the first time he’d kissed Rick. They were out on a run, just the two of them, looking for diapers and formula if he remembered correctly. 

_ “Look, is that a Babies R Us?” Rick had asked. _

_ Daryl squinted, “Sure as shit looks like one.” _

_ “You think anything’s left?” Rick’s hand rested easy on the holster of his gun as his eyes swept the area. _

_ “How many babies you seen since this started?” _

_ “Right,” Rick said quietly. _

It hadn’t looked any worse than any other store they’d scavenged. A few dead roaming the parking lot that they avoided, and some in the store that were taken out easily. Daryl could still clearly hear Rick’s whoop of joy when they got to the diaper aisle.

_ “Hell yeah! This’ll last forever!” _

_ Daryl smirked, “Or at least until you potty train that poop machine.” _

_ Rick turned to Daryl and smiled wide, his teeth shining white and his eyes glowing with happiness. And Daryl fell hard right then. He’d never seen Rick so openly happy, and the transformation on his face just pulled Daryl in. Just a brief touching of lips, a toe dipped into the water. But it was enough.  _

It was full dark now. Daryl had gotten some tarps strung up and some pieces of plywood and a stack of wood. It was all flammable, so he  pushed snow up around everything as best he could. It was a gamble either way, but this was the best that he’d been able to work out without having to go back to Alexandria. 

Satisfied that it was as good as it was going to get, Daryl sat down to whittle sharp points on a pile sticks. It was still too early for him to be able to sleep, and he always needed sharp sticks for his traps. 

_ A walker had interrupted them before they got a chance to go any further. It was just a kid, or had been, not even Carl’s age. Rick wasn’t up to putting it down, so Daryl did. The ride home had been somber and the kiss was almost forgotten.  _

_ It wasn’t until they were on another run that they had time to talk about it. Maggie had pointed to a spot on the map and told them that was where they were going, so that’s where they were headed. _

_ The jeep didn’t get the greatest gas mileage, but they wouldn’t get stuck anywhere either. It also made it harder to talk. No big deal for Daryl, but Rick was chomping at the bit to say something. Daryl just waited. _

_ They were still just pretty far from where they were going when Rick suddenly swerved and pulled off the road. Daryl looked around for the threat, but there was nothing to see.  _

_ He turned to Rick, “You know you don’t actually have to pull off the road anymore, right?” _

_ “Yeah, I know. I just...wanted to talk.” _

_ Daryl cocked his head and waited. _

_ “I...I ain’t ever been with a man before. And I don’t know how it works. But, I’m willing to try. For you.” _

_ “It ain’t somethin’ you can turn off and on. You either are or you aren’t,” Daryl said. _

_ Rick put his hands up, “I know. I...just never let myself follow through on a thought. You know what I mean?” _

_ “Yeah, I think I do.” Of course Daryl knew. He’d had those thoughts about Rick since the fucking quarry. He’d always shut them down because Rick didn’t seem to be that way. But maybe he was, maybe Daryl had him wrong this whole time. _

_ They’d kissed again, and then Daryl had jacked Rick off. Rick’s face when he came was etched into Daryl’s mind. A treasure he held onto as he spent days and nights looking for Rick after the bridge.  _

He closed his eyes to remember it better, his mind’s eye tracing the shape Rick’s mouth had made as he’d bitten his lip to try stay quiet. 

The fire had burned low, the stack of sticks were sharpened, and Daryl’s eyes were tired. His bed was calling. 

As he got comfortable and settled in, his mind went back to that summer. They’d made love only once, in the back of the Jeep while on yet another run. For Daryl it had felt like coming home as he sank into Rick. But for Rick, it wasn’t the same. Oh, he told Daryl it was great, and he’d managed to orgasm when Daryl worked his cock, but Daryl could see it wasn’t going to be his thing. And Daryl was okay with that. Anal sex wasn’t for everyone. And maybe it was something they could work back up to.

But then Michonne had shown up with tales of a madman that was coming. The war, the separation, finding each other again in a shipping container, all the damn walking, and then Alexandria. It was almost like it had been a forgotten dream. But Daryl would always remember.

Tomorrow he would look again. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope they can at least find each other again.


End file.
